The Scenario: You are a somewhat attractive man, who’s intelligent, caring, stable, loving and “fortunate” in the financial arena. You meet a woman who catches your eye and you both begin to dance the dance of daters. You hang out slowly at first, then it becomes all the time and now you two are inseparable. During this time you realize that there are huge disconnects between you too, for example: She’s a complete moron who never grew up and you hate it. Shes terrible with money and you love to save. She likes to go out all the time and you are fine with dinner and Netflix. She doesn’t talk much about anything and you just want to have an adult conversation for once! Either way this woman is probably not the woman you should be with but you are hell bent on making things work . During this time you’ve become close to her and at this point her family. You don’t mind helping out because her financial situation is chump change compared to what you make/spend. So you shell out the duckets ::insert make it rain hand movements:: hoping to build a foundation for this woman.
Then she stops doing certain things, after making trivial complaints about time. The arguments ensue almost daily or every time you speak. You think to yourself “what the fuck am I dealing with this shit for!?!?” but still you stay, because for some reason you care and believe, as most men do, that things will inevitably “work themselves out right?”
Then you break up. Well kinda, you still keep in touch with her family because they were like family when you two were together and you don’t see why they should suffer right? Ha!
You’ve just got GOT! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across this sad ass scenario. Shit like this is what makes good men assholes for life. Preying on women who seem nice, just to return the hurt and turmoil they’ve held themselves hostage to. In my best interpretation of an officer,
“ Sir! SIR! I am going to ask you to slowly put the AMEX card back in your heart and back…..away…. slooooowly!”
No seriously STOP THE FUCKING MADNESS!
Kind men are easier to take advantage of because they’re hearts are always pushing them to do the right thing. The problem is that they never seem to pay attention to the big ass elephant kicking them in the face. They cling to moments that happened during really good times while neglecting the fact that “she” was only a few good moments and could never provide you with a lifetime of them. And what’s even more sappy is you still being there financially for her family as if this is some charitable write off at the end of the year. Unless you have children, biological children with this woman YOU NEED TO SEVER ALL TIES!
I refuse to be the woman who believes all women are good and all men are evil spawns created to enslave the female race. Nope! Never been me! I’m not bitter nor jaded and I’ve been fucked over more times than a Bad Boy artist. I know as a woman we have our issues! We are human too. This is post is not for women though, this is for men. I hold everyone accountable for their actions, even the ones with really good intentions. I digress.
1. Women need to know boundaries- it is great that you are so strong financially that you can carry your whole team. However, you don’t want to be used as the foundation, you really want someone who is interested in helping you build that foundation. Pay attention to what she is adding/giving/providing for both of your foundations. Because GOD FORBID you need to fall back on something else and you don’t have anything because she has contributed to shit!
2. Time is NOT money- You should NOT always have to shell out them duckets just because ya F…….you get the point! Quality time at home spent reading together, , gardening, bike riding , or walking through the park are just a few corny things couples can do for free. Women like corny and corny is inexpensive so it’s a WIN WIN in my book. Don’t get her accustomed to money time but quality time learning, growing, and interacting. Watching how she handles situations helps you to understand if she’s really a good fit or whether she is just in it for the thrill.(this should not read, don’t take women out on dates because that is stupid and that will leave you paying for vagina the “immoral way” :inserts pay pal info and email::
3. Be honest!- men kill me with their resilience in women they do not belong with. Be honest with yourself first! Yes, she’s interesting and nice, but if you had to be stuck in an elevator with this woman for 48 hours would you really be able to live with that? No seriously, what can you do in an elevator for 48 hours besides talk and play around a little. This woman could possibly be the exact reflection of what your daughter will be like if you both happen to get pregnant. Do you really want two of that person in your house? I suggest you answer that before diving in her shallow waters.
4. Don’t be fooled by Potential!!- Potential is the killer of all relationships! We humans tend to see what we want and disregard the others, with the reasoning that “people will come around” And we are right! They Will but ONLY when THEY decide to and that could literally be NEVER. Look at George W Bush for instance. He never came around he’s always been a “C for stupid” kind of guy! Don’t ever marry or stick around solely on potential because it’s an illusion! Potential makes you believe and hold onto the following statement “She would be perfect if she just…” die! Die and become who you wish she were to better suit you and what you want; that my friend is selfish!!
S E L F I S H!
Being with someone in hopes that they change to suit you is selfish. I would know, I have been selfish a million times. This only leads down the road of “what ifs” and that is just torturous! Don’t do it to yourself it’s hard, I know! But Man Up and let that phat ass go!
5. You are Not The Father….- Or brother, sister, uncle cousin, nephew of any of their family. Go away! You look desperate always coming around to family that only wants you or values you for what you can do for them. Ask yourself the last time they did anything for you. Ask yourself the last time they called just to see how you were and to know what was going on with you, without needing anything. If you cannot recall multiple times they’ve invited your over or brought you dinner just make sure you had a home cooked meal, offer to clean your apartment since you do so much for them, WITHOUT you having to come out of pocket then, baby, YOU ARE NOT FAMILY! You are an atm. You are the Big Atm that will always be open, surcharge free and they don’t even need a card. They just need an empty hand. Again sir, YOU are NOT family, you are just being stupid.
This isn’t to say that all women will use you. Because that is not true! This isn’t to discourage you from trusting in women. This should be used as a tool or reminder that you deserve better and should not settle for less than. This isn’t to encourage you to never spend money on women. If that is what you take away from this post you are a moron! And this post wouldn’t have helped you anyway. This post was to help the poor saps out there who will continue to be used because reality isn’t always within reach for some people, at least not as within reach as their credit cards. If you want to have a positive relationship resulting in a positive outlook on women and not be bitter and jaded down the line, set clear boundaries. Be honest about those boundaries and with yourself about your needs. Don’t always give, give, give to never receive at minimal what you need. If you are one of those men who do not care about how much money you are spending on women or people in general, “Awww! That’s nice!” maybe you’ll go to heaven or get a free slurpee for your efforts but there is no need to give to someone who will not do that same for you. Regardless of their circumstance they can and should always be able to reciprocate. They may not be able to give in the same context as you, but possibly through listening and responding to your needs. I have done plenty to show my love and appreciation for someone I care about who has been generous to me
i also forgot to add something so ill add it when i remember and highlight it in green or something...#PEACE