The Scenario: You are a somewhat attractive man, who’s intelligent,
caring, stable, loving and “fortunate” in the financial arena. You meet a woman
who catches your eye and you both begin to dance the dance of daters. You hang
out slowly at first, then it becomes all the time and now you two are inseparable.
During this time you realize that there are huge disconnects between you too, for
example: She’s a complete moron who never grew up and you hate it. Shes
terrible with money and you love to save. She likes to go out all the time and
you are fine with dinner and Netflix. She doesn’t talk much about anything and
you just want to have an adult conversation for once! Either way this woman is probably not the
woman you should be with but you are hell bent on making things work . During
this time you’ve become close to her and at this point her family. You don’t mind
helping out because her financial situation is chump change compared to what
you make/spend. So you shell out the duckets ::insert make it rain hand movements:: hoping
to build a foundation for this woman.
Then she stops doing certain things, after making trivial
complaints about time. The arguments ensue almost daily or every time you
speak. You think to yourself “what the fuck am I dealing with this shit for!?!?”
but still you stay, because for some reason you care and believe, as most men
do, that things will inevitably “work themselves out right?”
Then you break up. Well kinda, you still keep in touch with
her family because they were like family when you two were together and you don’t see why they
should suffer right? Ha!
Ok DUMMY!
You’ve just got GOT! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve
come across this sad ass scenario. Shit like this is what makes good men
assholes for life. Preying on women who seem nice, just to return the hurt and
turmoil they’ve held themselves hostage to. In my best interpretation of an
officer,
“ Sir! SIR! I am going to ask you to slowly put the AMEX card
back in your heart and back…..away…. slooooowly!”
No seriously STOP THE FUCKING MADNESS!
Kind men are easier to take advantage of because they’re
hearts are always pushing them to do the right thing. The problem is that they
never seem to pay attention to the big ass elephant kicking them in the face.
They cling to moments that happened during really good times while neglecting
the fact that “she” was only a few good moments and could never provide you
with a lifetime of them. And what’s even more sappy is you still being there
financially for her family as if this is some charitable write off at the end
of the year. Unless you have children, biological children with this woman YOU
NEED TO SEVER ALL TIES!
Here’s why:
I refuse to be the woman who believes all
women are good and all men are evil spawns created to enslave the female race.
Nope! Never been me! I’m not bitter nor jaded and I’ve been fucked over more
times than a Bad Boy artist. I know as a woman we have our issues! We are human
too. This is post is not for women though, this is for men. I hold everyone
accountable for their actions, even the ones with really good intentions. I
digress.
Proceed…
1.
Women need to know boundaries- it is great that
you are so strong financially that you can carry your whole team. However, you don’t want to be used
as the foundation, you really want someone who is interested in helping you
build that foundation. Pay attention to what she is adding/giving/providing for
both of your foundations. Because GOD FORBID you need to fall back on something
else and you don’t have anything because she has contributed to shit!
2.
Time is NOT money- You should NOT always have to
shell out them duckets just because ya F…….you get the point! Quality time at
home spent reading together, , gardening, bike riding , or walking through the
park are just a few corny things couples can do for free. Women like corny and
corny is inexpensive so it’s a WIN WIN in my book. Don’t get her accustomed to
money time but quality time learning, growing, and interacting. Watching how she handles
situations helps you to understand if she’s really a good fit or whether she is
just in it for the thrill.(this should not read, don’t take women out on dates
because that is stupid and that will leave you paying for vagina the “immoral
way” :inserts pay pal info and email::
3.
Be honest!- men kill me with their resilience in
women they do not belong with. Be honest with yourself first! Yes, she’s interesting
and nice, but if you had to be stuck in an elevator with this woman for 48
hours would you really be able to live with that? No seriously, what can you do
in an elevator for 48 hours besides talk and play around a little. This woman
could possibly be the exact reflection of what your daughter will be like if
you both happen to get pregnant. Do you really want two of that person in your
house? I suggest you answer that before diving in her shallow waters.
4.
Don’t be fooled by Potential!!- Potential is the
killer of all relationships! We humans tend to see what we want and disregard
the others, with the reasoning that “people will come around” And we are right!
They Will but ONLY when THEY decide to and
that could literally be NEVER. Look at George W Bush for instance. He never
came around he’s always been a “C for stupid” kind of guy! Don’t ever marry or
stick around solely on potential because it’s an illusion! Potential makes you
believe and hold onto the following statement “She would be perfect if she just…”
die! Die and become who you wish she were to better suit you and what you want;
that my friend is selfish!!
S E L F I S H!
Being with someone in hopes that
they change to suit you is selfish. I would know, I have been selfish a million
times. This only leads down the road of “what ifs” and that is just torturous! Don’t do it to yourself it’s hard, I know! But
Man Up and let that phat ass go!
5.
You are Not The Father….- Or brother, sister,
uncle cousin, nephew of any of their family. Go away! You look desperate always
coming around to family that only wants you or values you for what you can do
for them. Ask yourself the last time they did anything for you. Ask yourself
the last time they called just to see how you were and to know what was going
on with you, without needing anything. If you cannot recall multiple times they’ve
invited your over or brought you dinner just make sure you had a home cooked
meal, offer to clean your apartment since you do so much for them, WITHOUT you having to come out of pocket then, baby,
YOU ARE NOT FAMILY! You are an atm. You are the Big Atm that will always be
open, surcharge free and they don’t even need a card. They just need an empty
hand. Again sir, YOU are NOT family, you
are just being stupid.
This isn’t to say that all women will use you. Because that
is not true! This isn’t to discourage you from trusting in women. This should
be used as a tool or reminder that you deserve better and should not settle for
less than. This isn’t to encourage you to never spend money on women. If that
is what you take away from this post you are a moron! And this post wouldn’t have
helped you anyway. This post was to help the poor saps out there who will
continue to be used because reality isn’t always within reach for some people, at
least not as within reach as their credit cards. If you want to have a positive
relationship resulting in a positive outlook on women and not be bitter and
jaded down the line, set clear boundaries. Be honest about those boundaries and
with yourself about your needs. Don’t always give, give, give to never receive at
minimal what you need. If you are one of those men who do not care about how
much money you are spending on women or people in general, “Awww! That’s nice!”
maybe you’ll go to heaven or get a free slurpee for your efforts but there is no
need to give to someone who will not do that same for you. Regardless of their
circumstance they can and should always be able to reciprocate. They may not be
able to give in the same context as you, but possibly through listening and
responding to your needs. I have done plenty to show my love and appreciation
for someone I care about who has been generous to me
i also forgot to add something so ill add it when i remember and highlight it in green or something...#PEACE
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